A Dad by Choice

Being a father is having genetic ties to another life of which you helped to create. It is a no obligation commitment sign, sealed and delivered in just one night in the throes of passion by a strong swimmer and the chance meeting of an ovulating egg. It is a title to which any man can bare, whether or not he is ready, willing, able or deserving. The word father is a noun and has no attached meaning other than, “a person who lends half of the DNA necessary in the creation of another human life.”

Being a Dad, however, is an action, it’s a verb, a choice, and supporting role in a child’s life, no matter their age, or even their DNA and whether it be tied to his or not. You don’t become a dad to someone over-night, nor do you remain a dad if you choose not to act as one. A dad commits himself to much more than just the lending of DNA, and he believes his role in creation comes after his child is born into this world, as he knows true creation comes from leading his child by his example.

Being a Dad is a multi-faceted, ever evolving role that starts with unconditional love for another being to which you accept and embrace as your own. It is taking on the responsibility of another life and understanding the power and impact the choices you make have on them. It is the ability to be the rock in their life, the constant source of love and acceptance that gives them the courage to be who they are intended to be. A Dad is strong in the face of danger, and weak in a moment of tenderness. He is the foundation from which his child is built and determines the stability of the rest of their lives.

Being a Dad is having the ability to play like a child and discipline like an adult. It is taking the responsibility to teach responsibility. It is giving and showing respect for others, for his child and for his-self. A Dad teaches his son how to treat a woman and his daughter how she should be treated by a man. He is his daughter’s first love and his son’s first hero.

Being a Dad is much more than a financial responsibility, though that is yet another aspect of his role in his child’s life… Not only to provide for him financially, but eventually teach him financial responsibility so that he is able to one day provide for him-self. A dad knows the importance of being available to his child. He revels in the moments they spend together and gives his child his undivided attention, and in turn, shows him that he is loved.

Becoming a father occurs in a moment, but being a Dad happens over a lifetime of amazing, terrifying, thrilling, anxiety-ridden, mind-boggling, fantastic moments spent with the child that you took and loved with more passion and commitment than you ever knew you had in you to give. Being a father is by chance, being a DAD is by choice. 

As Your Mother I Promise...

As your mother I promise:

To slow down and be present, because I know that you will grow up faster than I can imagine, and I can't imagine missing a thing!

That you will grow up in a loving home where daddy and mommy assure you and each other of the love that we feel.

That you will always have your family to fall back on in times of hardship, not to cure your troubles, but console you until you learn the lesson you are there to learn.

As your mother I promise:

That I will raise you to be a caring human being.You will blessed in life and it is our mission to give back as much as we receive.

That I will never make my mistakes your life conditions. Mommy isn't perfect, but you will never have to live in the midst of my mess-ups.

That I will be there as your cheerleader through every triumph in your life! If not in presence, in heart.

As your mother I promise:

To make it my mission to let you will know how much you are loved.

To love your daddy with all my heart and tell him 'I love you' as often as I tell you, because I know that we are your first example of what love is and I want to set a beautiful one!

To color with you, dance with you, play dolls with you, lay with you, learn with you, and experience life all over again through your eyes.

As your mother I promise:

That I will try to follow through and be your friend, but more than anything I will be your mother and I will raise you be a better version of what I aspire to be, not in pushing my dreams on you, but pushing you to pursue your dreams.

To remember that you are your own unique person and not a mini me!

To show you by example, how to be a good friend.

As your mother I promise:

To make good on my word.

To be open-minded and open-hearted.

To let go of my serious side when you want to laugh, and not to laugh when you are being serious.

As your mother I promise you London, I will love you unconditionally and be an active voice of inspiration and encouragement throughout your life.

Love,

Mommy

Walk with me.

So honored to have known you, so blessed to be your blood, so thankful for the signs you give, remind me that I'm loved.

My faith is in your presence, my path is in your heart, my journey is a safe one for we'll never be apart.

I speak your name often, of the plans that we have made, I know although your bodies gone your soul will never fade.

I look back on your pictures, recall your human face, I cry out of selfishness, you were too great for this place.

Life threw me a curve ball, I wasn't prepared to lose, accepting that you were taken, it wasn't my turn to choose.

I hope that I can live on, take your spirit for a ride, achieve the dreams we planned out, fill you up with pride.

I'm so honored to have known you, so blessed to be your friend, so lucky to have an angel to walk with till the end.

      Love you Dave. 

: LA's : Smoke & Mirrors

LA : Los Angeles, CA

I can't help but feel bitter towards the city full of lights. The town of much potential, shopping days and clubbing nights. Where the car you drive and the watch you wear define your worth and place, the only way that you fit in is with a pretty face. Everyone is someone, they know a star or two... SO eager to inform you what they could DO for YOU! Writers, actors, producers, mogals, playmates, models too... Detered from reality into this game of knowing the who's who. It's ashame, the disconnect, they live with no purpose at all... A million dollars of emptiness built into mansion walls. Lies are filled in bottles of expensive pink champagne, fed to rail thin, lifeless girls searching for wealth and fame. I can't help but feel cheapened as I walk the same paths where gluttons and shameless men tread, I'd rather live on the streets of nothingness than in the mansions that house the dead. Was money and greed that made them this way or is this who they really are? How does one find his inner joy behind the hood of a car? asphyxiated for 6 long days, my lungs gasp for one solid breath, enduring even one more hour of smoke and mirrors would most certainly have choked me to death.

P90X Frequently Asked Questions!

www.teambeachbody.com/teambombshell

P90X Frequently Asked Questions

I have been shocked by the HUGE number of responses to my P90X youtube videos and to be honest, a little overwhelmed trying to get back to every e-mail I get with questions about the program and my journey, so I've decided to post my FREQUENTLY ASKED P90X QUESTIONS on a blog so that I can make it easier to help all of you with your journey! *If you do not see your question on here please feel free to email me directly at LMatway@yahoo.com. Thanks!!! =)

Which program did you follow?

I followed the LEAN version of P90X. I chose to stick with this version after first trying the classic version and deciding that I'd like to add a little more cardio into my workouts and less chest and back. (That is the main difference.)

Classic = definition, bulk, and some weight loss

Lean = weight loss, definition and some muscle gain.






What was your diet like? Did you follow the P90X nutrition guide?

When i received P90X in the mail I was excited to follow everything 100 percent! However, after reading through their nutrition plan, making a grocery list of what I needed to follow it perfectly, and attempting to cook each meal I knew this was not going to be the diet plan that worked for me and MY lifestyle, so I decided to make things as SIMPLE as possible for myself...




*DAY ONE & TWO of my diet I do ALL Protein to give my system a shock and also ween it off of the CARB CRAVINGS!:

10oz-15oz of protein a day


VERY LEAN PROTEIN OPTIONS:

POULTRY (chicken, turkey, cornish hen... No skin... white meat only)

FISH (Flounder, haddock, halibut, trout, tuna)

SHELLFISH (Crab, lobster, scallops, shrimp)

CHEESE (Non-fat or 1% cottage cheese, fat-free cheese, or cheese with 1 gm or less of fat per oz)

OTHER (hard-boiled egg, egg whites, tufu, hot dogs, processed meats)


Of that....


*MAXIMUM of 4 servings from the LEAN PROTEIN list, the rest should come from the VERY LEAN PROTEIN LIST!*


LEAN PROTEIN LIST

BEEF (Sirloin, flank steak, tenderloin, roast, T-bone, porterhouse)

PORK (Lean pork ham, canadian bacon)

LAMB (Roast, Chop, Leg)

VEAL (Lean chop, Roast)

FISH (Herring, Salmon, Catfish, Oysters)

CHEESE (4% cottage cheese, grated parmesan, cheese 3 gm of fat per oz)

OTHER (Turkey bacon)



DAY THREE I add in low glycemic carbs:

Same protein intake (10oz-15oz) *if you eat this and still feel starving, add in extra VERY lean protein options*

2-4 servings of Vegetables:

Some of my favorite options:

Asparagus, broccoli, green beans, edamame, mushrooms, onions, peppers (green, red, sweet, or hot) spinach, eggplant, and cucumber.

2 servings of Fruit:

My favs include:

Apples, blueberries (1/4 cup), grapes(12 per serving), grapefruit (1/2), oranges, peaches, raspberries (6 per serving), and strawberries (6 per serving)

NOTE: No starchy veggies such as Beets, bread, carrots, corn, pasta, potatoes, rice, lima beans, yams or winter squash are to be consumed while following this diet until you have reached your goal weight... Then you can slowly add them back into your diet.


FREE SELECTIONS: *Have as much as you want!*

salt, pepper, seasonings, dry BBQ sauce, fat-free broth, white and red wine vinegar, tabasco, lemon and lime juice, mustard, ketchup, cocktail sauce, miracle whip(fat free), artificial sweeteners, lettuce, dill pickles, and a snack of 1/2 a cup of diet jello :)

Beverages:

Calorie free flavored waters, decaf diet soda, decaf coffee and tea, regular coffee(limit), crystal light, and diet drink. NO MILK OR CREAMERS.

Salad Dressings: 2 tbsp low fat or fat free dressings with no more than 30 calories per tbsp.

I drank as much water as I could to aid in digestion! A GALLON a DAY :)

*Highly caffeinated drinks such as energy drinks, and alcohol should NOT be consumed while following this plan.




What type of nutritional supplements did you take?

I only took a daily multivitamin... No protein shakes, recovery drinks, etc... Though I really want to try P90X's recovery drink! I've heard great things!





How did you manage to fit P90X into your schedule and stay motivated?

Teaching motivation is a tough one, cause really it comes from within. I can try and inspire by way of doing it myself, to prove that it is possible, but it is tough for me to try and motivate someone to do anything they don't REALLY want to do!

I, personally, was bound and determined to get my pre-baby bod back and end up in the BEST shape of my life before I reached my 25th birthday. One of the key things I did to keep my focus and determination in tact was posting my videos (before, during and after pics) on youtube.com! It was YOUR comments that motivated me on the days I didn't feel up to working out to just PRESS PLAY and GET IT OVER WITH!!! lol.

Another important thing I believe every P90Xer should do is to TAKE before measurements and pics including: Chest, waist, hips, arms, thighs, calves, weight, and body fat. It may be hard to look at now... But be honest with where you are at and determined as to where you are going to be... VERY SOON!

Other tips I can offer that helped me was to talk about your journey openly with others. It commits you and makes you accountable to get the job done!... and who knows, maybe you'll score a workout buddy or two!

I talked about it so much and had so many people buy the program with my recommendation that I decided to become a coach and have them sign up underneath me! (now every time I inspire someone to start the program and buy it through me I get 30% of the costs as my referral fee!) if you feel like you are inspiring people with your success, sign up as a coach and earn money while doing so! You can sign up to be a coach through my site, www.teambeachbody.com/teambombshell and I will be your coaching coach! lol.

There are soooooo many ways to keep motivated, it is your job to discover which works for you and your lifestyle!


Sometimes the hardest part is letting go of the preconceived notions of who you are (who you have been in the past) and deciding to change and be the best you can be. CHANGE scares people... and positive change, but change can also be the thing that sets you free!

I wish you all the best in your journey and hope that once you have achieved your goals that you will pay it forward, share your journey and inspire others to find their own greatness! I have faith that you can do it! Now GO PRESS PLAY!

I hope you are listening...

I remember how much I looked up to you. How I couldn't wait for us to get to the age where we could be best friends and our five year age gap wouldn't be so significant anymore... And I remember when I first found out about your cancer... How I couldn't believe someone I loved, especially you at 23, was going to have to get brain surgery! I was so scared, but at the same time strong, because I didn't want to scare you. You acted as if it was nothing, and although you were never a typical tough guy, you acted calm as I had ever seen you that night before your surgery. The entire room was filled with family members, but I remember we seemed to talk the most... I remember thinking that, for one of the first times, we were closing that age gap and talking to each other like friends instead of a big brother to his little sister. It would be the first of many talks as friends, but, unfortunately, it would be the last time that you were ever completely the same old David. I'll never forget that day. I was there with you as much as I could be over the next 20 months of treatments. You had times when you seemed as if you were recovering, only to be torn back down by the realities of your disease. The magnitude of your treatments wore on your fragile body and I saw more and more of my brother slip away. There were moments I looked at you and wanted to cry because I could hardly recognize the frail figure that sat in front of me... But nonetheless, I never lost hope that you would prevail in the end. The Thursday before you died I spent the entire day by your side. I asked you about your beliefs in the afterlife and if you were scared... I shared my feelings with you on life, mom, Derek and Josh. I massaged your sore neck, aching from bed rest. I remember I went and got us the triple play from Chili's (One of your favorites) and felt horrible that I had to feed it to you... Not because I didn't want to, but because I knew how torn apart you had to be inside that your body wouldn't work enough anymore to do it yourself. It had to be so scary in the end David, not knowing what was going to go next, not knowing if you would make it through the night. It breaks my heart to know that you had to feel those feelings, experience that kind of pain. On Wednesday, July 13Th, 2005 at 5:23a.m. I heard my phone ring... I knew before I even jumped out of bed what I was going to hear. I picked it up and it was dad... He said, "He's gone." in shock I started to ask a bunch of questions instead of crying... I wanted to know what you last said... Dad told me that before he went to bed that night he went in to check on you and you told him that you were scared... and God, it made me wish I could have been there with you so badly! But I knew that it was something that could not be undone. Dad told me that you had finished your will that exact day... I thought that was interesting... Like some sort of closure. As I hung up the phone and laid back into bed I felt the strangest wave of emotion I have ever felt... My body started trembling and shaking uncontrollably, and tears streamed my face as if I had been holding them in for years. I cried for my loss, for the loss of the world, for your freedom from pain, for all the pain you had to go through... I cried for my future without you. I cried like I will probably never cry again. And when the tears finally ran dry I knew there was a job to be done.

I knew you deserved a beautiful funeral... One that was personalized and memorable... And I also knew that no one in our family had it in them in that moment to pull it off besides me. At my core I knew it was my job to put together something special for you. I worked day and night for 72 hours searching through eulogies, pictures, poems, and songs... and by the day of your funeral, somehow, everything was finished... And it was just as I hoped, beautiful. As I stood in front of all the people that loved you so throughout your entire life and spoke about what an amazingly strong and gracious person you were in life, I knew in my heart that you were that same person, standing right next to me, in death. I was so comforted by your presence that I don't remember crying the entire day. I loved hearing your friends talk about you the most... I guess because they got to know you as a friend far before I had the opportunity to. With each of their memories I felt like I had been given the chance to be closer to you... Get to know you more than I had in life.

One year had passed and I swear I hadn't gone a day without thoughts of you... Every time I went on vacation I took your suitcase, as if you were coming along with me... and every time I heard Green Day "Time of Your Life" I cried... I volunteered at Hospice to learn to understand death better and to fill the void I still had from not being able to say everything I had wanted to before you passed... I made scrapbooks of all your pictures for Grandma, Mom, and Kelly for Christmas... as gifts for them, but as therapy for me. I spent a lot of time alone searching for answers as to why... But none were ever good enough for me, so I stopped searching and started accepting.